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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28605681">A childhood he didn't have</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereisnowyou/pseuds/thereisnowyou'>thereisnowyou</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, based off the sneak peak for 11x4, mentioned terry but not really init</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:21:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28605681</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereisnowyou/pseuds/thereisnowyou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a one shot (probably) inspired by the sneak peek for Sunday, specifically Mickey explaining all the Milkovich stuff and even Ian seeming so confused. Hope you enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ian Gallagher &amp; Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A childhood he didn't have</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a one shot (probably) inspired by the sneak peek for Sunday, specifically Mickey explaining all the Milkovich stuff and even Ian seeming so confused. Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ian knew Mickey, he knew what every furrowed eyebrow and bit lip meant. He knew when I don’t fuck care meant that he actually did care, a lot. He knew Mickey, but after watching him explain the different things the Milkoviches had unpacked to them, well Ian had realized maybe he didn’t know as much as he had thought because since fucking when did they keep chickens in the house?<br/>
It was something that had stuck with Ian all day, he told mickey everything and I mean they had grown up together over the last ten years so Mickey had been there for some of the biggest things in Ian’s life but also even then before then Frank was never quiet about the Gallagher’s private matters. Ian had grown up just knowing the Milkoviches were dangerous and that he should stay away, a warning he’s glad he didn’t listen to.</p><p>It wasn’t like Ian didn’t want to know about Mickey’s childhood and his life before they started fucking Mickey just never wanted to talk about it. Hell, even the first few years that they were fucking Ian knows so little of because Mickey kept everything in his past under lock and key, only ever focused on his future with Ian. Which Ian loved but also, he wanted to know every detail of Mickey, what caused every scar and what his favorite toy was and every memory good and bad.</p><p>So now there they were later on that night dinner done and everyone showered. Ian had thrown on sweats and a hunter green t-shirt and had climbed into bed while he waited for Mickey to come in. Eventually he did, in Ian’s sweatpants that were maybe way too long and a blue shirt. It was loud outside, their new neighbors loved shooting off guns and Ian was just glad terry didn’t know which window was theirs.</p><p>Mickey got in bed, instinctively curling into Ian’s chest and Ian put his arm around him. He could tell that the gunfire made him uneasy with Franny in the house and he knew Terry being so close terrified his husband. Probably not an ideal time to ask about his childhood if Ian thought about it more but he just felt like he needed to at least try. </p><p>Ian pressed a kiss into Mickey’s hair and held him tight. “Hey Mick?”</p><p>“Yeah Gallagher”</p><p>“What was your childhood like?”</p><p>He could feel Mickey getting tense in his arms and knew that the nerve had already been hit. “Shitty just like every other fucking kid around here”</p><p>“I’m serious Mick I feel like I don’t know anything about your childhood”</p><p>“Because you don’t want to. You think you do but I can promise you that you don’t. It’ll be just like-”</p><p>Mickey stopped abruptly and quieted, Ian hugged him tight to his chest</p><p>“Like what Mick?”</p><p>“forget it, I don’t know why we gotta talk about this shit anyway”</p><p>“Mickey, we’re fucking married you can tell me it’s okay”</p><p>It was quiet for a few minutes, Ian knew when and when not to push, he could feel mickey debating whether or not to tell Ian everything or keep it locked in a while longer. they were just laying there when a shot rang out and Mickey jumped in Ian’s arms, Mickey who almost never jumped at gun shot.</p><p>He felt Mickey take a deep breathe.</p><p>“I don’t want you to look at me like all the social workers did. Like with Terry, my childhood, it wasn’t one. There was no sense of family. My earliest memory is being 4 and coming in to my mom packing to leave. She came back of course, well more like Terry found her and dragged her back. She overdosed when I was seven. I found her, needle still in her arm. I put Mandy in her room and put a chair in front of her door so she couldn’t see and called 9-1-1, but I hid the guns first. She died of course. It wasn’t like she did much for us, always to high to deal with terry to be a mom. You guys had Fiona, and each other, fucking Iggy is an idiot and I had Mandy to take care of but no one looked out for me, we only looked out for Mandy because she’s a girl and the youngest. Terry beat us, specially me every fucking day. I got pistol whipped for looking at him wrong when he was angry. Once we were like 4 we weren’t cute kids anymore we were fucking targets. I went to school bruised and dirty cause it was a fucking lucky day if we had both soap and running water and got picked on till I stopped going and learned to fight. But FUCK all these damn social workers would come and take us, hell there was a few years there that I was in foster homes than my own, but I was awful with the fighting and biting and screaming so I never lasted anywhere more than a week. But more than all the shitty homes I remember their faces when they would come in the house and I’d always be bloody for some reason and usually nothing but beer in the fridge and the look they gave me was just the worst.”</p><p>Ian was shocked, he knew Mickey had a hard childhood but fuck he had no idea about so much of the shit his husband had endured. He had told Ian all of that quickly and with a clear sadness to his voice but like it was also the first time he was ever telling anyone all of it and the first time he felt like he actually could tell someone. Ian didn’t know exactly what to say, he couldn’t make all that Mickey had just told him go way but he knew what he needed to do. He turned Mickey around so that He was facing Ian and he could see the tears in his blue eyes. </p><p>Ian held Mickey’s face and wiped away a tear before kissing his forehead. “I can’t change any of that and I fucking hate that so many people have hurt you, and I’m not naïve that I’ve hurt you too, but I hope that we can build a future that maybe makes the past hurt a little less. I know life’s a shit show and we’re both felons and I’m crazy but I want a future with you and a family and I promise the future will be everything the past never was.”</p><p>Mickey didn’t say anything, just looked at Ian and smiled, it was a small smile, but he knew Ian meant what he said.</p>
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